Often life shakes you up and you are no longer the person you were. I don’t miss the old me, but I wish growing pains didn’t have to be so painful. The world thinks that youth suffers from too much uncertainty; I think it’s just as hard, if not more difficult, to know what you want in a world that is itself so uncertain. I never really thought of summer’s end as bittersweet, the way that most believe. I’ve always taken my lessons learned straight from one season or stage of life to the next.
When I lived in Budapest four summers ago (jeez it’s been a while!), a friend of mine advised me to not walk so quickly through the city streets, lest I miss out on the true beauty of what I was experiencing. I agreed, but continued to move every day at a rabbit’s pace. This is the first summer that’s ended bittersweetly for me, and it’s the first time I’ve really paused. I think we get better at that as we get older, but there are very few things that grab our attention and reflection in that way.
Now that I’ve been out of college for a little over a year, I would say that I’m definitely optimistic (though uncertain) of where I’m going career-wise and while I may be less cautious than I used to be in the other areas of my life, I’ve learned that agency only takes you so far. There are a lot of other people in this world, some who are more than happy to enjoy the ride with you and some who gently or abruptly ask to be let off, and others whom you have to gently or abruptly ask to get out.